I was unexpectedly served divorce papers first week in November 2014.He is a business man and he requested me to leave work when I turned 40 which I did, at home for 8 years. The entire year 2015, he would phone and message me telling me he loves me whilst living with his girlfriend and letting her chat to me as well. He would bring his dirty clothes from the girlfriend for me to wash and iron and then back living with her. He would stay for few days, sleep in the spare room then go stay with the girlfriend. He would force himself on me to have sex, I would refuse and he would say to me he will pay me to have sex with him or when he finds employment for me.



For the duration of our relationship which is 15 years this man was physically, verbally,sexually and financially abusive. Its difficult when I am unemployed to have a fair divorce due to financial restrictions. He use to provide me with monthly financial aid but stopped this month. He informed me if I do not sign the settlement he will not give me money. I cannot sign the settlement which totally is beneficial to him. He informed me to use his lawyer which I agreed but soon realized his lawyer will be more for him than me.



Its a nightmare that I cannot awake from and when dealing with a business man its extremely difficult because he assumes he's financially stable he can do as he pleases. Why can lawyers not assist with the divorce and receive payment when the divorce is finalised?

We have no children and he was previously married with 2 children and that marriage lasted for 4 years. Can I charged him for raping me over 10 years ago before we got married and was living together?

Pauline: I was served back in 2009. I also received alimony, but he took me to court about every other year to stop it. My Lawyer asked for $1K initially to keep her on the job which my family offered to pay. Is there someone who could help you? I would advise you to look up the local rape laws on line. He sounds very abusive/mentally ill. I would contact your local women's services center. My soon-to-be ex also brought his dirty laundry to my house during the divorce process while he was moving his belongings. I thought he was at the home visiting our daughter. He sounds like a sex addict. If you cannot afford a Lawyer, it will all come out in court. Do not allow him to control you. Look for employment on your own.

After 15 years you are entitled to spousal support (alimony). DON"T sign anything giving that up. It sucks that lawyers what money upfront. Hopefully you have someone that can help you out there. Contact your local women's shelter to see if they have advice. I wish you the best of luck.