I left after 31 years of abuse. The book that saved my life: THe Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans.
You must make plans to leave safely. Please don't get involved with someone else. Don't give him a reason to beat you or even kill you. See a therapist, or call a women's shelter for help in leaving.
My mom was in a abusive relationship with my father. As a teenager I prayed that they would get divorced. She did the get involved with someone else thing after all us kids were grown but lied to me about it. Do you and your kids a favor and get divorced before getting involved the someone else. All of you (except your current husband, and he doesn't metter) will feel better.
My name is Rikki, and I am a psychology student - my parents divorced a couple of years ago. I experienced every side of divorce - the breaking of the news, the denial, the happiness, the fall-out...everything. Divorce practically bulldozed my family, but things improved significantly. I have many friends who endured similar changes. Children can do it pretty rough. If you need advice, I offer 'life coaching', which is honestly just advice - all from a kid's / young adult's perspective. With a breakdown of your individual situation, I can advise you on a recommended plan of attack, to assist your kids make as easy-as-possible a transition, for a better future. Because quite frankly, divorce can be crap + I could have had some advice like this in hindsight. Enquiries welcome. E - rikkiknowsthis@gmail.com