I have a three year old- his father and I were never married nor have we been to court or had lawyers write up custody/visitation papers. The fathers name is not in the birth certificate. I live in NH with my child, it's where he was born and my family is. My sons father lives in TX. He did send child support when my son was born until he was 2 and a half. Six months ago he requested his name be on the birth certificate and asked for visitation in TX of every other Christmas and one month a summer. I replied if he could foster a more positive relationship with our son I would consider his request. He has only visited NH twice to see our son and I fly us down to FL where my sons father used to live so my son could meet his two sisters (whom still live in FL with their mother- they are in the process of divorce. I did not know they were still married, when I found out I moved back to NH when I was pregnant.) my sons father then said if I wouldn't put his name on the birth certificate that day then he was no longer sending child support or calling him- he did not do either for 5 months but then called him on his birthday to say hi. I'm wondering what to do? Should I hire a lawyer for child support but if I do does the father get custody or visitation rights out of state? I've told the father and stand by that he is welcome to come to NH anytime to visit and can call our son anytime but he chooses not to. He's threatening once he finalizes his divorce he's going to come after me in court.
If he is making threats, now is the time to get a lawyer involved. I would check with your local family court, and see what might be available for free advice, to begin with. You do not need this to potentially turn into a custodial-interference case. Look after yourself, and good luck!
Family Lawyers are best when kids are concerned. He may try to get full custody to avoid future child support action. Lots of Dads are doing it these days as the child support laws have gotten tougher. It does not seem like he is a good candidate for custody based on what you have written. Tell the Lawyer what you have written here about his lack of involvement in the past with your son. It may be that since your son is older now and out of the high needs/diaper bottle stage and all that hard work is done, he figures he will have it easier. Best wishes to you.