My ex and I were together almost 5 years. We have 2 small children together (2 and 1) We split close to 2 months ago (my decision)
I spent many many years feeling lonely and completely miserable, we tried a few things along the way to help us, counseling and trial separations.
During the first almost month of our separation it was pure hell. He told people awful terrible untrue things about me. He and I would try and have a conversation and he would say nasty things and then when i would comment on it he would tell me i was crazy and never said it and i need mental help.
He contacted one of his friends (a girl) whom he has not spoken to in years and told her awful things about to in hopes of trying to gain her friendship back, he even went as far as to telling her he saw her naked years ago and wishes he would have had sex with her instead of leaving her apartment that morning. She recently broke up with her boyfriend and immidiately contacted him for support. I feel like there is more to their story and if they didnt have some type of relationship previously then they do like eachother in some way.
In the past 2 weeks we have become civil again and I have actually considered giving us another chance. Thinking maybe we missed something somewhere and we can be fixed.
But then i remember the hell i lived for a month and the monster he turned into and how miserable i was for years and i know that trying to fix things is a crazy idea!!
Im just so confused on what to do, in any way help!
He sounds abusive. I would call your nearest women's services center for support. Also, if you start thinking about divorce again, I would contact a Family Lawyer to see what is at stake. Sometimes the first visit is free. My Lawyer told me not to involve myself in what my ex was doing (i.e., girlfriend), but our daughter was 18. As long as the woman/women in his future, should you or he decide to end it, have a good relationship with your kids should he have a long term relationship with them and they are not violating the law and respecting you as the mother of his kids.......I know someone who is planning on cutting ties with the ex once her kids are grown. How can you trust him again? Some people can patch things up and trust again, but it takes a long time to regain trust. I would not get back into bed again with him until he has been tested for STDs. He may have been intimate with the other woman.