I have been married for only 2 years. Before my husband and I got married we dated for nearly three years. A lot of things have happened between then and now and I am no longer in love with him. For example I had a miscarriage in February. I called him the day that it happened (my obgyn was 2 hours away) and instead of him coming up. THAT DAY, he waited until the next day when I was scheduled to have my DNC. And then he left right as the surgery finished. I think at that point I felt so hurt that I didn't want to be with him.
So he lived two hours away from me, for three months. He finally moved to where I'm at and I just don't feel what I felt before. I want a divorce, but I feel horrible that he moved up here and just started a new job. I need advice on what to do.
teahunt: Have you considered marriage counseling if there is insurance to cover it? Many couples get strained by miscarriages, childbirth, etc. Many men do not feel comfortable in a Gynecological office (my ex included) and cannot relate/don't express feelings of the loss of a child. I would not have taken it personally unless you and your husband have had other problems, too, with him just not caring about you. Yes, he should have come to see you sooner after your miscarriage. Why don't you ask him why he did not? If you are sure you want a divorce, I would get a consultation with an Attorney to see what is at stake and not be intimate with him anymore so you will not risk another pregnancy by him. Makes me wonder why the two hour distance between you occurred in the first place. My ex moved 2 hours from his girlfriend, but they are both over 60 and see each other on weekends and I don't think they want to get married after 8 yrs. of dating.
Laura: There are many other things that have led up to me wanting to get a divorce. He gets angry about ridiculous things, never wants to spend time with my family and I, and never helps out around the house. I have to deal with all of the finances as well as deal with things that come up. I work all day and go to school full time, while he works security at a mall. We got married when I was young, three years ago. People and things change in three years. I moved closer to my parents about two months ago, and he had the choice to come with me, but he didn't because he said he was allergic to my parents dogs. But if it was the other way around and he was the one that left, there's no doubt I would have gone with him.
We've been in our new place for a week and it seems like everything he does annoys me. I've gotten so irritated with him. But I can't tell him I want a divorce. He just started a new job and moved two hours away from everything he has. I just don't want to be married to him anymore.
I think you need to get over your loss before you decide what to do with your marriage. Give it some time, see your doc or a phycologist. It is so easy to walk away, harder to stay and work it out. Whatever you do, make sure it is really what you want. Life is short and finding someone you love is so hard. Good luck x