Hello. My story seems too long to write out.But where I am at right now is my husband has repeatedly betrayed our marriage. I don't have the proof that he acted upon things but I have intent and evidence of him contacting women off social forums looking for sex. The first time was when our son was an infant and only a few months old. He was repentant and for the children I was willing to stick it out and try to fix whatever the issues were that drove him in that direction.

3 years later ANOTHER discovery of him reaching out to ads posted on social media. This one prompted a move from one state to another so I could be close to a support system. Since we moved back our relationship has gotten so much better. We love our life, got into a really good therapist and he was just saying how happy he is with our life together. (it's been 3 years again).

Then a week later BOOM he posts some random song on his Facebook feed about getting out and saving your heart (he's never posted a song in his life) and then I find an ad he has posted on "married for married" seeking an affair locally.

To say I am devastated is beyond words. We were not in this unhappy place of fighting or struggling to my knowledge. Something seems majorly broken and I know we cannot fix it. I'm just feeling so blindsided. And to top it off now he will move out and we will have to share custody of our 2 kids and all of it is excruciating and sad to me.

I feel like I need a rule book of what to do, think, feel and tell people right now. Friends are shocked. People want to understand what he did or didn't do and why. I can't get any details out of him. He's angry, shut down and claiming he never "acted" on anything.

I guess I'm turning to social media in hopes of getting some tips.

I am so sorry. Sadly, we cannot make anyone change, and you don't owe anyone an explanation. It is/was your husband's decision to behave...betray you and the children...... the way he did. If someone asks you what happened, i would say..."ask him." Don't waste time and energy on him. He has the answer...you don't.

Take care of yourself, little baby steps; do things that make you feel good (at least for that moment) so you can take care of your children; go to therapy for YOURself.

Feelings aren't right or wrong, they simply are...allow yourself to feel ALL of your feelings. Grieve the way you need to. xo

I understand how you feel. Unfortunately, our stories are similar and I'm going through the same thing. At this point, there is no guidebook for this. You have to take it day by day and allow yourself and outlet to release your anger (exercise, shop, eat, etc.)so it wont stay pent up.

Don't try and understand him (because you wont). Use this time to work on yourself and being there for your kids.

PS.Y ou don't have to give anyone any details if you don't want to. Surround yourself about positive people as well...that helps.