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Re: 40 + yrs over done

Of course you're sad! You're mourning the loss of your husband, but he didn't die, he just left and that makes it ten times worse. The worse physically pain most woman will have is child birth. I've been in your shoes and I'm here to tell you, I'd rather give birth any day. With birth you know the pain will stop after the delivery. A broken heart doesn't come with a time limit and there's no medication to stop the pain, only time.


While you don't feel like it just yet, what's something you've wanted to do, but put it aside because of him? One of the things I found myself doing was volunteering for Meals On Wheels (delivering meals to elderly shut ins who might not eat otherwise). 15 elderly people made me feel love and needed during a terrible time in my life. Male or female, they would throw open that door and hug me. Sure I had their meal, but I soon learned they were just as lonely as I was. In some cases I was the only person these people spoke to, their only human contact for the day. I could spend about 10 minutes with them before I was off to my next "hug" delivery.

You do realize that your husband was demeaning of your work is because he saw it as a threat? Money had nothing to do with it. You were making a difference in your community, people looked up to you. That made him feel insecure. Somewhere along the way your husband didn't get in the "mature line". He needed to put you down to feel important and in charge.

Hang in there sweet lady, you'll make it.




Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "Oh crap, she's up!"

Re: 40 + yrs over done

Thank you,he was the love my life but very broken,now I have to develop a life without him to care for me and me for him. I'm trying to find the right path. I will find it. I have been a community leader for 25 years and I'm tired. Will find a spot for myself somehow.Just heartbroken.
Need a take of myself first. It's only been a few weeks .Getting stronger.

Re: 40 + yrs over done

I am in the same boat,and it is definitely not what I wanted to be doing at this age. It is painful to go to the store and see couples together, and realize there is no one who cares. I couldnt even find a forum to join that could relate to someone getting a divorce after 45 years.

Re: 40 + yrs over done

It's just so hard now he's trying to open up a line of communication. I'm so confused. Forty plus years and he walks out. How does that happen.

My understanding is that it is very common now.

I just feel lost and alone. It is awful. No idea how to move forward. I feel any woman dealing with mess.

Re: 40 + yrs over done

I don't what will happen but I do know I must go forward. I cry everytime I think of what's gone. It does seem impossible to let so much of our lifetime go. He's coming for lunch today,maybe it will be better for both of us to be open and honest. Who knows such a mess. Such pain and heartache. No anger,.