I have been married for 6 years and my husband is in the navy. We have a daughter thats gonna be 3 this year. When I was pregnant with our daughter I would see him one every 8 months or so. He is always away and never part of mine or her life, I feel like he is a holiday daddy even tho he is very attentive when he is around, which is not much.
We separated last year for a few months, and I met this guy that I really liked.. I told the guy I was still married and he didn't seem to care much. I ended up sleeping with him once, before he went away to his home country, I have find out I was pregnant and knew it was the other man. I could not contact the other man because he was gone and out of desperation went back to my husband. I am now separated again and told my husband about everything. We are divorcing.
Since them I have reached to the other man (he has find me and contacted me trough social media and apologized for despairing) I decided to tell him and have done a DNA test and it is his baby. I like the other man and he is currently paying me child support to help with expenses. In my conversation with the other man he has mentioned things like "if I marry you" and that he is buying a house and want to settle down.
I have met with him a few times over the past month but only for a lunch out with baby or to talk, nothing romantic happened ever since. He also mentioned a few times that he doesn't want to be that man that breaks a family and that we should try to keep what I have. I guess he is confused. I don't know what to do or what to expect, I just want whats the best for my son and believe the other man has better qualities and will make an amazing father for my kids. What to do?
cutebunny: I would continue to meet with the other man and baby and see where it goes over time and to keep him in your life for the sake of the child, even if it ends up only being visitation on his part. When you meet with your Lawyer or Mediator, talk with them about it and get their opinion. If you do not have a Lawyer, Family Lawyers are best with this type of situation. Set up a formal child support agreement and visitation schedule in writing which is legally enforceable.