I know exactly how you feel...I was married for 35 years.We were high school sweethearts. Tons of history together down the drain because basically he was going through a mid-life crisis. I'm not sure how you and your ex parted ways - my ex had gotten so mean to me and did any and all he could to destroy me that any feelings I ever had for him have greatly diminished. I find I'm better off being alone opposed to living in he'll with someone. It takes time ,lots of time,and prayer but eventually you will see a light at the end of the tunnel.... my heart feels for you and I am sorry you are sad.