How do I know it is time for a divorce? I love my Husband and it is killing me to think I am ending things. But I have two children and they don't need to see mommy and daddy fight. He had strangled me in his sleep. He said he didn't do it and he doesn't remember. So idk what to do.
I am tried of him because controlling and verbally/ emotional abusive. he has kicked me and chocked me.
We talked about divorce but he said he is willing to go to concealing. But idk if I should stay.
Honey, You've reached out to a chatroom for women's divorce. I think you already know the answer. Your husband is abusing you both mentally and physically. You are correct your children don't need to see their father physically abusing their mother for several reasons. Abuse, in any form is usually a "learned" behavior.
What they see can manifest into several behavior problems. Crying, aggression, or disrespect to women. Many times children become confused and scared and blame themselves. Violence in the home also changes how children think and feel - about themselves, their families or life in general. Many times boys who have an abusive father, become abusive themselves.
Abusive men are often motivated by a need to be in control, to demean, to intimidate, and to put the victim in a position
of powerlessness. Many times a man may use money to control his wife. Taking her money, spending frivolously while the children do without necessities, making all major purchases, denying access to bank accounts, or preventing his wife from taking or keeping a job.
While your safety and emotional health is important, you do have children to consider. Their needs and mental health are just as much important as your.
I won't lie to you, abusive controlling men are the hardest to leave. He may not see your request for a divorce as the loss of a spouse, but an attack on him personally (he's losing control and they don't like that).
You need to be smart about this. He has assaulted you. What would probably happen if he were served with divorce papers? Will you and the children be safe, or could it lead to further assualt? Every state in the US has a county Department of Social Services. The state employs people who will help you and your children leave the house and stay in a safe house until he calms down. If you think he would be a problem, call your local office, tell them about your plans and your fear of what he might do and they will assist you, free of charge, to help get you the assistance you need.