No-fault family law is formulated to make it easy to split with a husband and come out fine financially. Go talk to a lawyer and file. Ask for primary custody so you lock in child support, including for any kids in college. And ask for spousal support. Ask for half his retirement. Stay in the house and get a temporary order requiring him to pay the mortgage and any other debt. Don't leave anything on the table. The judge will give it to you. The sky's the limit. The system is set up so the mother and the children maintain pre-divorce living standards and the husband will be required to pay for it. Make him move out and you can then move on. This is really easier than we make it out to be - the system is designed to help us. You'll likely get back anything you pay the lawyer in your settlement and you can even claim you can't afford the lawyer, so ask the judge to require your husband to pay for both your and his attorneys out of his money. Any recent domestic violence calls you can leverage will help.