I was awarded child support and temporary maintenance by the family court. I used this money to pay my living expenses while the divorce was pending. While the divorce is still pending, my son (who is also dependent disabled, turned 21.
I informed my husband (and my attorney)that I would not be able to continue making the full mortgage payment with only the temporary maintenance award. It wasn't enough, alone, to cover all my living expenses. I reached out to my husband and my attorney 3 months prior to my son turning 21. Neither of them responded to my request for a resolution to the pending situation.
My husband has a history of not paying the court ordered support amount and generally coercing me with his control of the marital finances. He began deducting the entire mortgage amount from the court ordered temporary maintenance, leaving me (and our son) with not enough money for living expenses and food. The only response anyone (my husband, his attorney, my attorney, and marital referee) has given me is "the mortgage has to be paid".
Holly: Does your son need care/can he be left alone while you seek work? Did the local School Dept. come up with a plan for your son's future like they should have? Do you get SSI for his needs? Many women are trained to cook/clean for the elderly or to work in Medical offices. If you are going to care for him and do not want to place him in State care if he cannot be left alone, I would suggest you visit your local Public Housing and Welfare Offices and/or call them and visit your local food pantry/get food stamps. The house will need to be sold if it goes into foreclosure due to non-payment or you could look for a responsible roommate to help with the bills and to help you with your disabled son - perhaps a college student studying medicine or studying to work with the disabled or studying social work. If the house can be saved from foreclosure, can you afford to take care of it? If you can sell the house quickly, you can split the proceeds with your husband and improve your financial situation and avoid assistance. Withholding support for you and your son for your most basic needs was misguided on his part.