My husband just recently told me that he no longer wants to be married to me. We both been feeling a strain in the marriage for some time now, but neither one of us made an effort to try and fix the issue of feeling disconnected. So I was blind sided when he asked if I was happy and said he was not and no longer want this marriage to continue. Fast forward 3 weeks later I have already found an apartment. I decided he should stay in the home so our kids would not have to change schools and since maintaining the house is "his" thing.
I'm sure many of you like myself are on this emotional roller coaster. One emotion that keeps covering me is fear as I don't know what will happen to me financially. I know we have to split our assets and I may get alimony, but I don't want to go into this blindly by assuming.
My husband has the highest income and we have been married for 20 years. I wanted to see if anyone here is going to receive alimony or has received alimony and how it was determined.
If you were a stay at home mom, you would typically get alimony for a period to allow you to establish a career. If you have been working throughout the marriage, alimony is much less likely.
Just because he makes more money does not automatically trigger alimony.
Angela: My ex also filed for divorce in 2008 (long story). I was in my late 40s, he was older. I was a stay-at-home mom for half the marriage, injured my back and was only able to work just a few hours a week and we were married for 21 years. Alimony is based, in my State, MA, on length of marriage, age/condition of spouses and employability. I was getting $11K of his $60K salary which was tax deductible on his end, but taxed on my end. My alimony was cut by a little because he was paying our daughter's health insurance, and, under Obamacare, he could (she was under 26 at the time and working at temp. jobs). Research the alimony laws on line in your State. Most alimony is of a restorative nature for younger, healthy/able to work women in shorter marriages (I was married for 21 years. About every 1 1/2 years, he took me back to court for a reduction in alimony (modification). He wanted to buy a house. Each time I had to pay my Lawyer $1,200 to defend myself. I had to re-release my budget each time (which also determines how much alimony you get, along with the paying spouse's income) which was a lot of work (weekly budget). His Lawyer, if he has one, will expect you to go back to work if you are able and will push for that.