What support programs are available for men/women who are fincially co-dependent on thier partner and want off Alimony? I am shocked to see how many ppl this affects and how little support there is for people trying to get off Alimony.



Any advice would be greatly appreciated!



Thanks

Unknown: Check with your local Unemployment Office about job training. Where I live we have an anti-poverty agency where job training occurs. Check your local phone book or go on line for information in your area if you are able to work. Women who are older in my area (50 plus) have been trained for work cooking/cleaning/doing errands for the elderly and for work in medical offices. I was working part time and got alimony for a couple of years and wanted to get off it (back injury/late 40s/stay at home mom for 10 of the 21 years of marriage). My Dad died and I am able to pay my bills with the money he left me from his Estate.

Why do you want off alimony? All the divorced women I know consider alimony (and it's close cousin child support) a necessary source of income so the don't need to work. Women are mistreated by paternalistic societies and they deserve this money.

I am not sure how long you have been on alimony but I would say it is your choice to get off. If it is the feeling that you are still under the spouse wing I can understand. If you want to come to some sort of closure I understand. I didn't get alimony after 26 years of marriage because he wanted out, didn't want to be tied to a court order and was playing with my emotions. So for my health and mentality I agreed to nothing. It has been a struggle to pull myself out. I have to depend on a home my parents bought me (Paying a smaller portion of rent); so I am still dependent on someone until I can financially depend on myself. I have a full time job but if I ever lose it I am in bad trouble. My credit was ruined and I still struggle with getting that fixed.
I would personally say, get to a mental state that the alimony doesn't bother you, for now. If you don't need all of it to live on, put it aside for a cushion. Enroll in school, branch out with careers choices that will set you into a position you won't need the cushion. Or take some of the cushion and donate to a local church organization which helps divorce people, battered spouses/kids. For the time being count it as a little blessing. If it was given to you as a pay off for the ease of the mind, don't worry about it. Put it wards what you used when your dad died. Rebuild that fund. We never know what the future holds. You may need a cushion to get over the next mountain.

Or consider letting the person who earned the money actually keep it. Any ex-wife (or in the rare case, ex-husband) who can use alimony to save as a cushion or can afford to donate it doesn't need it and it should be returned to the rightful owner. Novel concept in today's entitled society, I know, but one worth considering from an ethical perspective.