My ex always had magazines stashed in the garage. Claimed to be God fearing but never attended church unless it was Easter and Christmas, maybe a few days during the year. I don't know your extreme but I can tell you that you stayed with him all these years because you Loved him. And honestly, may still. It is the hurt, lies and deception now. You can't change people, God is the only one.
Without being selfish you have to take care of yourself. Go back to Church if that is where you gain your strength. It doesn't have to be the church that he attends. But find one that won't cause division, simply gives you strength.

I don't want to over step my grounds so I will tread lightly & I don't want to give guilt. Seek good counseling about how you feel with him (in bedroom, looking at him), your dreams/expectations. A good counselor/honest friend will shed light on how you and he feels.

You might find work, even part-time, if you branch to a new Church or group of Godly friends. One step at a time but figure out your goal. Do you want a divorce? Don't be persuaded by other to do something that goes against who you are or God. Soul search before making decisions. Don't make rash decision but when something comes your way find your safe quite space and go seeking answers. Think through pros & cons carefully.