Hello all,

I am new here. I hope you can support me through this painfulness in my life.

I have raised my teens alone now for 13 and 16 years. The last 6 years having primary custody 26 days a month. Most recently I asked my children to spend a couple days with their dad on dads time to think about how badly and disrespectfully they treat me. It has been ongoing and hurtful. I realize in hindsight, as my 13 year old said, “it backfired on you mom, blew up in your face and now we want to live with our dad.” My ex was very mad I would not allow them to return home after a day, he made it clear it was not his weekend and later, that I would pay the price. I can tell you, I am paying it. I think everyone is hurt, everyone is angry, but with his lenient ways the boys may choose to live their now and he may now choose to have them live there. A) for the money B) because they are teens and much easier – He can go about his life much easier as opposed to if they were young, C) revenge!

It feels like I am dying without my kids. He ordered them into my house to gather up all their belongings and allowed them 15 minutes. I could not believe this was happening. They are everything to me; my life! They just/we just need some counselling. He has said and it seems at this time, they have said they now want to live with him, my eldest said dad said he is the easier parent. If this turns out to be the case, I don’t know how I will cope. I am not coping now. Ex is promising them the world, something I cannot, plus I have rules they must live by, which has led to big problems between the boys and I. Most recently they came to visit and used a lot of profanity (called my home rules b.s, called me a ****** etc). Some of the things they said were words coming directly from their dads mouth; I feel in many ways they are being brainwashed.


My questions are that of: Can ex simply have them if they don’t want to live here, would that be correct? They are 13 and 16?

Is there a period of time that should be allowed for the boys to ponder? Teens flip flop I hear.

When do I have to give the o.k to cut off child support from FRO? He has ordered I do it immed or he will take me to court asking for court costs/lawyers costs. The pressure I feel is stifling. I want my children back!

Last question: He has had them for almost a month now. If they haven't returned to me in January or so, can I no longer file them as my dependents?

Overnight, he took my special needs child to the bank to clear out his bank account I opened with him. He had them take virtually all their clothing. He changed my special needs child bus pick up to pick up/drop off at his home. He has said I am virtually needed for nothing i.e hockey drop off/pick up, changed my sons parent- student night to include him and exclude me. These are things he has next to never done/does! Who am I without my children? I am nothing!

The pain I feel is indescribable.

S

S: You need a Family Lawyer to sort this all out. I had one. Research the custody laws in your State on line. Yes, men often do try and take the kids for financial reasons. We had only two house rules when I was growing up: 1. We had to let our parents know where we were at all times. 2. Let someone know if you will be in the bathroom for a long time (because we only had one bathroom). When kids are growing up, they are seeking independence and getting ready for the day when they will "leave the nest". This is normal behavior of a rebellious nature. I didn't let our daughter stay out late at night due to the dangers. I added that rule.

Hiring a lawyer is the best option. Professional lawyer services can help you in the worst time of need. A lawyer is a professional providing legal advice to its clients. When looking for a lawyer, it is also important to look for one who is a specialist in that particular type of case as opposed to a general practitioner. You may look at more info on internet.