All I can tell you is that I wish you the very best. I know its hard to change things after you're settled in for that long. I think you really need to do some soul searching and figure out where you'd be happiest. If you can stay in your marriage and find some way to be happy, that's great...if not, maybe leaving would be the right thing to do. If you do decide to go, surround yourself with family and friends to help you through the transition.