Meme: Talk to a Family Lawyer about this. There are legal issues surrounding taking a child to another State. Now that he has a job, have a Lawyer help you get child support or have whatever authority there is in your State enforcing the child support laws do it. Sometimes a man will slowly work his way back to a child or even alienate the child against the mom in order to get full custody and avoid paying child support. Tell the Lawyer about his lack of involvement with the child and his failure to show up in court. It's in the child's and your best interests to stay where you are. I would go for full custody. He is away at work too much to take care of your son and it seems like he may want to have his family take care of him if he moves near him. Sometimes the first visit to a Lawyer is free or go back to court or whoever your Lawyer was if you had one.