I understand the kind of pain you are in. Divorce is blowing up the family, a last resort. Make sure that you have tried everything else first or your conscience will torment you.

Have you tried marriage counseling?

It's is so gut wrenching going thru all the emotions and scenarios. I walked in your shoes for nearly seven years, before it just hit me to file for divorce. I didn't want a divorce but the anguish of staying in a horrible marriage tipped the scales one day. I had planned on waiting til my kids were grown but I one day he had another one of his tantrums and I decided enough was enough,. I'm always a planner and this one tantrum prompted me to file for divorce ASAP. I threw my plan out the freaking window because my happiness meant more than anything and I instantly had the determination this bad situation had to be over. And you know what, it all turned out fine! It's hard to say when it's time to get divorced but I promise you will know it. Just follow what the other post said, try all you can otherwise your conscience will eat at you with the what ifs. I did all I could, for years! I have an absolutely clear conscience and am living in peace now. I have little patience for hell raising and drama anymore and am thankful that I don't live with BS anymore. It's a tough situation to be in, but keep yovr sanity in tact and follow your conscience!

What if your conscious tells you’re to blame. After he admitted to cheating with one person we have tried and tried. He told me he tells himself he has to get out of this relationship. We say a lot of hurtful things to eachother. When we start talking about separating he says figure it out. I know we both have to be part of this. I’m so afraid he will make this so ugly.

Hi Danielle,
Your situation sounds a lot like mine. My guilt is keeping me here. Sadly, I got the guts to leave once, last year. My kids adjusted fine and it was great, until I let him use my guilt and conscience to draw me back. Here I am, 6 months later miserable, believing that me and my kids would be so much happier and better off... I just don't want to hurt him.

It is hard, and it takes time, but make a plan - something better than getting hit by a truck. Put money aside, (I set up an acct that he didn't know about) - work out a timeline, find a place, and just put one foot in front of the other. You can do it.

So can I...I just have to say the words and begin.

My radar goes up hearing you say that you only have sex 3 times a year. And do research on his medical condition. Lots of conditions effect erections and men's drive but Cialis works wonders. I would first play detective to see if there is an other woman or even man in the picture. You may be a cover which sadly is common in situations like yours.

My story is similar except the great sex is keeping me confused! I have several girlfriends who were in similar situations who either had an affair before the divorce which made matters worse or they made a haste decision and didn't take the time to plan for their divorce. How do you know it's time? 1. After you've played detective, exam your heart! You have to be over him completely and at the point where you know enough is enough, where you know you do not have an ounce of passionate love for this man! Do you know for sure that you wouldnt get jealous or want him back as soon as he gets a new girlfriend? If you still love him but it's not reciprocated then try talking first, he just might be honest if you position it to him in a non-threatening way. Regardless, if divorce is in your head, start secretly planning.

Hi, I feel absolutely the same way. I'm in an unhappy marriage, but am not going anywhere for my son's sake. I can't stand the thought of having joint custody. I don't want to share him part time even though I know he loves his father very much. I don't want to miss a holiday or special moment without my kiddo so I've decided to stick it out. I've tried couple counseling which worsened our relationship. I've also done personal counseling and that didn't help much either in terms of obtaining new information about my relationship. Taking it one day at a time for the time being.