Recently I am very confused and unwell. I really won't know what to do to my stagnant marriage.
I had not seen my husband for a year. He came back last week and did apologised to me. Though I had accepted his apology but I have too much pain and hurt that I don't think that I can continue to be his wife. I felt very contradicting to how I feel as a sober person. For 12 years of marriage, he seldom say things to encourage me but discouraged me.
In the last 5 years, he has thoughts of me harming him.. an angry person whom didn't want to sleep at some of the nights, checking on me when he didn't want to sleep... I was scared to stiffness for a few epidodes. I'm afraid to say the wrong things and he will give me repeated questions.
When his angry with someone, he can turn the anger to me. Though he never physically abuse me before and he cursed my womb and didn't want to take the responsibility that he was a part to my left crippled leg. He has memory problems but he denied and avoider taking anti-depressants.
When he screams over at the phone.. it stressed me out... I am at lost what to do.
1. I'm sure I do not want to live with him anymore due to his anger and being scary at night when he got so angry and didn't want to sleep.
2. I been seeing psychiatrist and psychologist at the same time. I'm at a lost should I divorce him and got into circles and circles of ....yes divorce.. no divorce..
I couldn't work and even reorganise my own stuff... what should I do.. please help me... I want to honour God but the painful memories made me so sad and feeling very depressed.
Sha: He sounds abusive. I would not stay married to him. Get whatever help for women is available in your area. Ask the Psychologist about services available where you live.
If you are scared to sleep with him at night and do not want to live with him, then you shouldn't stayed married to him. Life is too short to waste living in constant fear. He might not have put hands on you, but he's verbally abusive.
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