I am an unmarried mother to two small kids. One is 4. The other is under 1 year.. my relationship is pretty crappy and I'm extremely unhappy. Long story. I want to leave but I am so scared of losing time with my kids. I have been the primary care taker. My understanding though is that my state is a joint custody state. Please advise

One of the realities of divorce is that kids have the right to a relationship with both parents.

And that's what's in their best interest. The court won't be interested in what you want...or what your ex wants...they'll be interested in figuring out what's best for the kids.

So if you're going to proceed with divorce, the reality is that they'll be spending time with their dad away from you and that you'll have to support yourself.

Maybe think about it some more before you make the decision.