JL, I understand completely your feelings on remarrying. I have the same fears. Sometimes we try really hard to make things happen on our time table. I am so afraid I will be lonely and that I might make bad choices on whom I date. I do hear success stories however of love in late life that ends up wonderful. As crazy as this may sound sometimes widowers make great second of third husbands. If they have been good, caring, and loyal partners to their lost love one they have a good foundation for being a great partner again. I am very much hoping for a future with a "Good" man. Don't give up yet as it is not hopeless. Friends, Co-Workers, Church Groups, Divorce Recover Groups all might bare fruit. Please let us know how it goes. Thought
I divorced after 25 years of marriage. I have been divorced for two years and I am almost 49 years old so we are close in age. I have focused my attention these past two years on myself. I had to learn what I liked and who I was because everything was tied to being a mom and wife for so many years. I decided at the very beginning of my journey into being a single woman to not date anyone until I was sure of who I was as a person. I didn't want to go into another relationship with baggage from my past. I feel like I truly deserve to be happy in life and if I am to be in another relationship, I want to be emotionally available. Maybe you just need time.
Brandi
All I could think about the last 10 years of my 1st marriage was how amazing it would be to be single. I dreamed and fantasized about it. I hated every single minute of being married to the ex-husband...it was a nightmare. So after divorce, I concentrated on my career...getting my savings and retirement accounts back to where I wanted them to be...and raising my children. I didn't really care about men...and, of course, because I wasn't looking...the perfect guy came along.
I've now been remarried for a number of years and its amazing. I am just absolutely in love. My husband is the kindest, most hardworking person I've ever met and he's my best friend. He's a wonderful substitute dad for my kids and I love his kids too.
I think you should take care of you. Make sure you're completely self-sufficient and that you don't need a man for anything. Relax, have fun, take care of your life. And if the right guy comes along...great...if not, you can be very happy single.
As far as statistics goes, I'm not one....neither are you. You know what you know when you know it. And if you meet the perfect guy...believe me, you'll know and be able to make decisions then. Until then, relax and enjoy yourself. You can be extremely happy without a man...and there's nothing more amazing than a self-sufficient woman.
Ugh...what a pathetic reason to be with a man. I can't imagine using men for money.
I'm glad I was taught to have the self-respect to be financially responsible on my own.
Normal Woman,
I'm soooo happy that you found the person for you after your first marriage didn't work out. I have been divorced for two years and feel it's so important for me to work on myself. I feel the same as you about being self sufficient. It is my hope that I have a loving relationship in the future but for now I am in the building stage of my life, I'm building myself as an independent woman. Thanks for your advice to the other person because it helped me too.
Brandi