Hi All, I have been in an unhappy marriage for 43 years. Recently my husband filed for divorce. He almost immediately wanted to work it out. I am not interested in that anymore. I will be OK financially but still am afraid. It seems so overwhelming to split 43 year of money, property and possessions up. The thought of not having a partner for the remainer of my life saddens me. We actually have had very little to do with each other for many years yet he is a physical presence if nothing else. I have family and my teen granddaughter lives with me. I know this must be done but it is still very painful. I am 68 and fear there will be little hope of finding a suitable partner at this stage of my life. My husband has never made me feel connected or safe so I have a hard time understanding my feelings. Any thoughts? Thank you for reading my post. Thought
Thought,
I too was in a long marriage, shorter than yours (25 years). It wasn't a happy marriage for many years but it kept going. I wondered what I would do with my life if I asked for a divorce. I married at 21 years old and he was my boyfriend throughout high school. I never had an adult date and that worried me because I thought about if I would even know how to do it. I had many worries surrounding the thought of divorce. I have recently celebrated the second anniversary of my divorce. I had to learn who I am and what I liked because I was a wife at 21 and a mom at 22. I had no idea who I was as an individual person because everything was tied together. I will be 49 years old in a few months and I have never been more happier in my life. I have a couple tips to share with you. Forgive him because it will set you free. I decided right away I didn't want to be the bitter ex wife who hated him and all men. I felt like I deserved to live a happy life. Journal your feelings. I have always wrote my thoughts down but it helped me to write during this time because I knew I wasn't going to be miserable always. Sit down and write a list of things you like and incorporate them into your life. I don't focus on the aspect of never having a man in my life, I only focus on me (for once in my life) and if a man is supposed to come into my life he will meet a happy woman who has her own identity. Sorry this is so long but I really want you to know it will get better but it takes work.
Brandi