Hi Lisa,
I feel your pain. I decided that I had enough of my husband's verbal and emotional abuse, and after trying to reconcile, called it quits. Like you, I could not kick him out of the house, and he would not leave. I could not leave the house, as it might be construed as abandoning our kids. So we lived in the same house for three months. A month after he begged and pleaded to stay with him, and telling me how much he loved me, he found another girl online with a readymade family. He has since been staying over at her house much like you described while I stay home with our kids. He lied to me and to our kids about having to "work" over the holidays, when really he made plans to spend the day wining and dining his new friend, and leaving his kids at home. It was very hurtful to live in the same house as someone who thinks they are playing you for a fool while they go out and live it up. I felt like the hired help who had to constantly clean up his physical mess and his emotional mess with our kids. He has replaced us, but will not let the kids go because then he would have to pay child support, and he has told me that his kids are "business" to him - that is all. It got easier after we each got our own places, but I'm still having to deal with the immaturity that goes along with a 45 year old man trying to be a teenager again with his girlfriend who is also married. Am I the only one who believes in controlling yourself and acting your age? Nevermind doing what is best for your children?