Diana: I would call the Domestic Violence Hotline for help. It may be he wants more time with the kids in hopes of getting custody of them so he won't have to pay child support. Once he sees what is involved in caring for kids and based on the lack of time he's spent with the kids in the past, he may back off after a while. I agree with the other poster about getting legal aid and a job. If you need child care, see about getting voucher (Government help) in paying for child care. Also, the Boys and Girls Clubs of America and the YMCA offer school aged child care. Visit your local Unemployment Office and/or anti poverty agency to see about jobs/job training. Lots of women of all ages are getting training to care for/do errands for the elderly in their homes. A man like this should not be caring for his kids alone. Since he insists on seeing them, see about supervised visitation because, as you say, he is abusive and neglectful.

Get a lawyer. It's an investment that will pay dividends. The lawyer is there to help you navigate the laws so you can get paid alimony and child support. Family law is structured to first give women custody and then give you alimony and child support to pay you to raise the children. Then, with TANF and WIC, the state will give you support. Use the abuse to get a domestic violence order against him to seal the deal - judges throw the book at men who abuse, even if it's just an accusation, that's enough. That simple. I haven't worked in several years and my ex husband is furious! The state garnishes his paycheck and it goes directly into my account, tax free. Just don't get re-married because you'll lose money and might have to get a job.