Hi, after I read 1/2 half your story I was thinking "get out of this relationship". It is not healthy to have your kids witness this behavior from your husband. When they get into a relationship one day they'll think that is normal and it's far from normal. You need to get some help asap. 40 is young to start over, I'm 50 and split up at 41 years old. It will be tough at first but life is short. Maybe you can go to counseling together and work on it but he needs to stop the drinking. Life is short, everyone should be happy. You deserve to be happy. Good luck and hope everything works out for you.