Just A: It sounds like he is nervous about how she might react to you being in his life/child's life/maybe a jealous type/difficult person, excuses are being made and/or they may be a "helicopter parents". If you have lived an honest life, I see no reason why you could not be around their child eventually if the relationship has gone well. See what happens....if there is too much drama around her, you may want to keep it a very part time relationship as it is now until the child gets older or move on. I had a relative who eventually married a guy whose ex has led a very troubled life and they waited until the youngest child was 16 to marry........not saying you should get married, just writing about her experience. I'm with someone whose ex had kids ages around 9, 12 and 17 (not his) and things went more smoothly once the kids got older and had their own lives with activities and friends.