Lucy: I think your husband is being totally unfair with a decision in which the kids need to be comfortable with during this difficult time (with whom they want to live/not live with). Sometimes a parent will want kid(s) to live with them so they will not have to pay child support or will be paying less child support. It may be he is just using the kids/toying with their emotions/choices of where to live to get back at you. I am a child of divorce (I was 19 and my brother was 17) when my mom had an affair and my parents divorced. I also had an 18 yr. old with my now ex when he left. It seems as though your husband is trying to get the kids to take sides - his or yours. It is very cruel. If he were mine, I'd be miserable. Please contact a Family Lawyer in your State as soon as possible to sort this out. Also, in a divorce agreement it should state how college expenses are going to be handled (if he has enough money, he should help) and if an 18 year old is a full-time college student, in some cases they have the same status as a child (mine was) so my ex tried to get custody but his Lawyer backed down and said she could live with whoever she wanted to because she was 18 (she chose to stay with me and he moved an hour away closer to work) - don't know if there are different laws about this in different States.