How do you know when it's time to separate, or even divorce? I have been married for almost 12 years. I have really never wanted to have sex with my husband. He has never gotten me going in that way. I even cried on our honeymoon because the pressure of having sex from him was unbearable and I just felt horrible. I loved the man as a person but I just didn't have the physical attraction I guess.
I have been feeling uneasy for the last 6 + months. I was trying to figure out if I was going through something or if it was my marriage. I finally one day had to tell him how I was feeling about him and my issues with intimacy. I was getting turned on but not by him and I was wanting to act on those feelings but not with him.
He was heartbroken to say the least. We started counseling immediately at his request. We have been going weekly for 7 weeks now. I am still struggling. I want to take care of myself and make sure that I am happy, but worrying about how my husband feels and how it will affect my kids keeps getting in the way.
How long should I keep trying counseling? When is enough to say "I've tried and I want to move on."
Sex is very important, if the sex is good I can overlook other things (like them being lazy, not cleaning etc) but as long as they are a good person and loyal.
Now all depends on age, in the later years I don't think sex is as important as to have a person who will be there for you, your children, vacations, retirement, have fun with etc
I myself would go through counselling, ask them how long to wait.
Please be honest with your self and make sure that another person on the side is not making you think this way. The right thing to do is make these decisions with a lot of thought and care.
Maybe try a sex therapist. Tell your spouse what you like in the bedroom and try it, too many people never ask the other and assume that all is good.
Tell him how to touch you, where and explain exactly what you want.
You may surprise yourself and end up having great sex. What turns you off, hair then shave clean.
good luck, with everything. Life is short and we are only here for a short time. Marriage is what you make of it. It can be a great thing.
I feel like it is not just about sex. I am not attracted to him. I don't want to kiss them. I don't want to hug him. I don't want to hold hands. Sometimes I don't even want to be in the same room with him.