Lanie, I'm so sorry, it sucks and some days are so much better than others, you're right.. yesterday was such a good day, then BAM I was walking through walmart, just because I wanted to get out of the apartment for a while and I just started crying for no reason. I need to find friends, or something to get my mind off of all of this.. rebuilding a life after knowing one thing for so long is hard and I don't even know where to start. I also started therapy, but went with the TalkSpace route as I found it's so much easier to just go online and message my therapist whenever I needed to. It has been so theraputic and and even in the five days I've been on there it's been helpful, sure there has been some days where I was like what am I even doing? But I know in my head I will be stronger because of this, I just wish my heart will catch up. I just don't know how to grieve my marriage and what now seems the loss of mh best friend as well
I am sorry for what you are going through... I have been married 22 years and am trying to muster the courage to initiate the divorce. My husband knows I am unhappy and am mainly staying for the kids. He has said in the past "If you dont like it -leave.. because I'm not!" I think you would call this Intimidation!!!
I am so sad some days. I'm fine as long as Im busy but when I get in the car to drive to work I just cry..
I totally understand what you said about friends- I have realized my world was built around my husband and the kids. I didnt have time to socialize or did so with married couples. My instinct in to keep my emotions in because I'm embarrased and ashamed I have lived with the abuse for so long.
We will get through this! The anger, loniliness and hurt are necessary to push us to make a change for the better.