This is an update... My husband who originally said he doesnt want a divorce until my son graduates and won't move out now says he wants his own apartment and a divorce a couple of days ago...

I won't lie I'm relieved and want him out as soon as possible but I want to stay in the house with my son. Fianances are tricky- but he has been hiding or should I say stealing money from his family for years.. He appears to want the single life and I would guess dating-if its not happening already..

I do get ****** at the unfairness of it all- He will have that freedom I won't but I have to see the big picture- the kids are the loves of my life. I find it so funny my husband doesn't see it that way. He says our marrige went bad when we had the kids. He resented my attention to them. How F-ing selfish- it wasnt all about him anymore :(.

We have been married 22 years- I have seriously disliked him for 10 years but thought we had to stay together for the kids, Just like my parents did and basically spread their unhappiness on me and my siblings. Imagine.. I repeated the same mistake.

My daughter leaves for her Freshman year in college in 3 weeks and I was hoping to talk to her before she left. I find out my husband and his friends (ushers at our wedding a million years ago) and tells them he wants out of our marrige. Call me crazy- I thought we shouldnt tell anyone before the kids... thinking of the kids first... what a novel idea.

Tommorrow I'm getting together one of these friends wives and my husband is like "maybe you should tell the kids because I told friends!" My timeline is now! I have to tell her.

How is this conversation for kids:
1- It not your fault its ours
2- We love you and you will always come first
3- We will always be a family just happier
4- You Dad is a jerk... (I'll leave that one out)

Thank you for any input!!

Patrice: The same thing happened to me. My heart goes out to you. My ex told a long time senior neighbor that he was going to move out when our daughter went off to college. He stashed a lot of money in his retirement accounts - no problem cause I got the cottage and he got his retirement money - MA is a 50/50 split of assets, even if it's "on paper". He would not move out initially, then got his own apt. Finances: He refused minimal alimony for 9 months, but did help with bills. I went to the local food pantry. I ate supper at church suppers for the poor. When things got better, I donated some stuff to the food pantry (gave back). Married 21 yrs., he stayed for our daughter, was dissatisfied at the 10 yr. mark, never home, etc. I kept the house clean and took good care of our daughter. I told our daughter to just go on with her life (she was 18) and enjoy herself and not get wrapped up in our drama.......hope this helps. If you don't already have a Lawyer you really like, I'd recommend getting one ASAP. Family Lawyers are best when kids are concerned. Mine was still considered a kid since she was a full-time college student. Research the divorce laws on line in your State and remember every e-mail, phone call, court time and face-to-face meeting with a Lawyer people get charged for so make sure it's important when you speak with them. Best wishes. Let us know how it goes. We do care. I was divorced in 2009.