Can't speak to your relationship because you haven't given us enough history and background. But smart women begin building their financial demands at this point. Primary custody and child support (if appropriate), alimony, half his retirement, half the cash, half the other assets, and all of the house are typically awarded to women. He gets most of the debt. Talk to a lawyer because they will collect for you much more than they cost. If you don't have a job, don't get one, especially if he tries to pressure you into getting one. Ideal situation is if you are a stay at home mom with kids under 18 - the courts will take care of you. Good luck!