My husband of nearly 22 years left in May and filed for divorce in July. He cited because I didn't have a paycheck and wasn't a great house keeper that he wanted out. We have 2 kids and neither of them were easy. Our adult daughter lives on her own with her own little one and my son is considered special needs because of his combined ADHD, Emotinal Disability with PTSD. I never not planned to work-I just had to get our son up in school enough to where the school wasn't having to need me to come in to either sit with him or take him home. Justin couldn't be left at home by himself for hours on end so I just put off college and having a job figuring that I would continue to babysit and carpool for extra money and my time would come. Out of the blue my husband dropped this bomb. I thought we were happy; we were doing better. He had made plans for trips and for home rennovations until one day our renter moved out of our former home and he got a text from someone. He plans to get with this woman that apparently he's emotionally cheated with since 2010. He thinks she's the one because she has a job and "motivation". I guess I would have had motiviation too if I would have still lived at home with my parents, had no children, was younger, and could work and throw money at partying like a rock star. He's listened to all these 20 and 30 year old "Friends" he works with. I never thought he'd be like this-I never thought this would be my life at 42. Our son is hurting and i'm trying to help him and I'm destroyed. That's the best I can put it. I've lost 62 pounds and I'm living in a home i inherited that I shared with my husband-practically gave him a house he owed nothing on, but I don't know for how long we can live here because I have little to no credit since filing bankruptcy and our former home still has my name on the 42k mortgage, and this entire house runs on electric which in the winter-the bills can sky rocket. I did recently get a job but it's part time and I am registered for classes back at college because I have to finish because it is the only way I will have a life for me and my son. I wish-and I do pray a lot for my broken home to be reconciled. I love my husband despite all this. I do not believe he's going to be happier. I pray to God to change his heart and convict his mind at the choices he's making. I just wish I knew what to do. I finally got a lawyer who is going to work with me on payments but there's not a lot he can do because we never owned much property or financial things. We were just a working poor household. I loved him with everything I had-gave him two children, and my reward for not obligating him for them and loving him was him leaving and treating me like I'm something less than human. I'm trying to get counseling going but where I live it's hard and I have no money. Any advice? Is there a way to reconcile? Is there any way to stop this from happening? I don't know.

Nikki: I was married for 21 yrs, spent 10 yrs. at home raising our daughter who needed various therapies (long story). I put her in the car and delivered newspapers for the rest of the marriage. Ex was found to have Asperger's after having left and I got alimony due to an injury/full-time mom for half the marriage/long term marriage/age. Research the divorce laws on line in your State. Get counseling if you have insurance to pay for it. I've been in and out of counseling for years. Get whatever help you need if he is/has left.: Food Pantry, Women's Center, Fuel Assistance, etc. See if you can get a responsible roommate if he's left and/or emergency alimony. My Aunt got roommates after her ex left after over 20 yrs. She went back to school. Many women get trained via unemployment offices/programs to cook/clean for the elderly or to work in medical offices, but first, don't let him steal your happiness - not worth it. Get your health on track. If you need school aged child care the YMCA and Boys and Girls Clubs of America are available - very complicated situation for you - You can't stop someone who wants out unless he changes his own mind, then, can you trust him anymore? Find someplace affordable to live/public housing if no roommates can be found. If you have a child, you will have priority. (If his income is good, you could get restorative alimony 'till you get back on your feet). You will get child support also if he's working. My ex was a frequent customer of Hooters and Strip Clubs. My heart goes out to you. Let us know how it goes. We do care.