Thanks for your reply. Sorry to say, that ship has sailed .... when I got out of college and he wasn't discussing my loans I panicked and took a job I actually knew wasn't right for me just to pay it off, once I paid it off I actually left the job I had such anxiety due to him and just attending to the kids. I went to a lawyer for a consult and told her some of the financial things and she didn't seem to be surprised. Im kind of done with consults, this lawyer seems fair but she did say his lawyer will make me responsible (legal word is impute) that salary from the job I couldn't handle, even if I have been trying to find a job since than. That would come out of my alimony. I am afraid I will not be able to attain that salary ever again given my emotional state now. I guess I just needed to hear that other people may think it is abuse to help me move on.
Well I think you should take a stand for your self. Because untill you don't stand for yourself no one will and on one will care. It had being 15 years of your marriage and he is still not taking his responsibilities. You can take advice from voyance pure expert, they can help to take future decisions and helps to unlock certain situations of life. Also you should talk to him, try to sort out the things.
This is financial and emotional abuse. If you're still under the same roof, find as much financial paperwork as possible. If the info is unsealed under your roof, you're entitled to make copies, etc. Do not access his password accounts even if they are saved for easy access. Go to the IRS and order transcripts of your family and business filings for the past 3-5 years. Call or go to the banking/investment institutions, and ask them to print accounts that are associated with your SSN, the individual and joint ones. Document how you contributed to the well being of the family. Go to an attorney and get out of this situation officially. Depending on your state, your not-so-significant other will have to deal with the idea with marital assets. He can either settle or unfortunately you two will pay the legal system more money to have the Court resolve the equitable distribution and dissolve the marriage.
Look ahead to your life that will not be dictated by such a controlling and demeaning individual. It will be a tough go for a bit, but you will make it.