Hi, my kids are older, 17 & 19. The ex is supposed to have them every other weekend yet has only had them 2 weekends and a week long vacation in 4 months since we've been divorced. I do not feel it is my place to remind him of what weekends are his, for a variety of reasons. The kids are old enough to text with him, and they do, not sure how much. The youngest works weekends, the oldest was off from college this summer. The ex is pretty lazy and selfish and if he had the kids he'd have to get off the couch. In the beginning, 4 weeks after he moved out post-divorce, both kids went up for Father's Day. Big show on the ex's part. He should have had them 2 weeks prior already. Then two more weekends roll around and I hear nothing. Third weekend after their first visit my youngest tells me he's not working this weekend because it's his weekend with his dad. Fine. Then he gets in touch with his dad and dad says "oh, I forgot". They go despite the ex "forgetting" and haven't been back since then, which was July. He did take them on a family reunion in August, but he's not doing his weekends. I can see my kids' reluctance to go when he's "forgetting" to have them over. It's hurtful. He'll come here and take the oldest, sometimes the youngest golfing then perhaps out to eat, maybe once a week. 3 hours and that seems to be all the ex wants. The youngest hates golf and the ex doesn't find things to do that the youngest likes.

I don't feel it's my place to interfere with how much the ex is choosing to see the kids. One kid is an adult, the other is busy with school, sports and work, and doesn't have that close of a relationship with his dad, and dad just doesn't have much in common with this one. The ex is highly passive aggressive and shuts down pretty much every time I bring up anything with him, so I go as no contact as possible.

I am likely going to have to bring him back to court for non-adherence to (other issues with) the marital settlement agreement, and I don't know if this is an issue I should bring up. Child support is calculated on him having them every other weekend, and that ratio is just so off, so technically my child support should increase. I would hate to see my youngest being "forced" to spend more time with his dad because I pursued this.

Advice if you've been through something similar would be appreciated. Thanks.

Ok. I am not an attorney this is just my experience and thoughts.
My attorney did tell me several times. "You cannot make a parent take his time". The courts will do nothing. the exact opposite however: you have to allow the other parent his/her time, is enforceable. My advice: 1. Track the time he does not show up. diligently write down every week-end that is his if he takes them or does not. Knowledge is always power and eventhough I cannot tell you when you can use it ... better to be prepared. 2. Dont make a big deal about it in front of your kids. Whether they are 3 or 30 they are more than likely hurt he does not take his time. Be the bigger parent and don't make a big deal about it with them in the room. They know he did not show up or was not there and they know you are. And they will also know that you kept quiet and did not point out that their dad is a butthead and you will only look better in their eyes. The child support is already calculated at the max amount more than likely as he only has every other weekend so ask your attorney but it probably will not make a financial benefit at all.

I'm sorry, but your kids are old enough to decide themselves. Let them be, if you relationship with them is good, then the rest is not your problem. I'm sure you don't need to hire a baby sitter to stay with them on the weekends the dad is supposed to pick them up. if they work and go to college, this shouldn't be an issue. let them be... that their relationship with their dad...