I am so very saddened by your husband's views regarding your child's schooling. I work in an elementary school as an aide and have two children who have moved up through the school system. I've seen it all. Most teachers and administrators believe that it is a "gift" to have a child who struggles (whether it be academic or social) repeat a grade. Especially if the child is willing and excited about it! This is a no-brainer, but I do understand how some parents, and I'll generalize and say it's often the fathers, take their children's issues personally and feel it reflects on themselves. One of my sisters was in this exact same place 40 years ago, where the school and my mom wanted her to repeat first grade. She just wasn't where she needed to be academically. My dad objected, asked if she could take summer school in the public system (we were in catholic school). The school agreed that if she passed summer school, she could move up a grade. Well she failed, the school stood firm and said she had to repeat 1st grade. My dad was livid, pulled her out of catholic school and she started second grade in the public school system (a decent school). She suffered academically and I believe emotionally for the rest of her school career. She barely graduated high school. If my dad would have allowed her to repeat first grade, and if she were allowed to be tested and given the proper assistance she needed, she would have had a much better outcome.

I would advise you to have as many people involved in your daughter's education write a letter stating their reasoning for having her repeat a grade. They can include supporting documentations. Her teacher(s), any child study personnel who may have had dealings with her, her principal, this is something they do on a regular basis. Present this to your husband and it should suffice. Keep it in case he pursues this legally.

Your instincts are correct and you're doing a great job, Mom!