Hi, My suggestion is to get a restraining order against him and his girlfriend. Find someone either a friend or a family member that can be the middle man between you and them. File for custody of the children with the courts that spells out a scheduled parenting plan with time for both parents, That way he can't play mind games with you about when he sees the children. The courts will see right through his abusive ways.

Once the restraining order is granted, He will no longer be allowed to contant you (and if he does, keep a journal of it and file a contempt case against him or call the police). If needed change your phone number. Make sure everyone has a copy of the restraining order.. Childrens schools, Your place of employment, the local police department and a close friend or family member.

As far as the children go... Children see things that we adults don't think they do. Keep your karma straight when it comes to the children. When they grow up, They will see the truth and realize who did what. Don't try to beat the dad with anything. Eventually, The father will hang himself with the children. Stay strong and keep your head up. Just concentrate on keeping your rules and boundries the same, regardless of what the father does. It sounds to me like he is buying their love to make you look bad. Don't allow him to get in your head and make you doubt yourself.

I've been in your shoes. My childrens father was the same way. For years, I was always made the bad guy. Now my 3 children are grown and want nothing to do with thier father because They started to see the games he was playing with their emotions and the things he would do to me. I never spoke bad about their Father or his SO in front of my children. I did what I could for my children and with my children. We didn't always have fun (I was the rule enforcer), However I always made time for them. Movie nights, Family game nights, Sunday dinners, The children enjoyed my time more than my money.. All the quality times I spent with my children paided off in the long run.

Hang in there, Keep your head held high, Believe in yourself and your parenting... and most important... DON'T ALLOW HIM (THE EX) TO CONTROL YOU WITH HIS MIND GAMES.