On Wednesday evening, my husband said he wasn't happy and wanted out. We've had a difficult marriage (17 years/no kids). Derron is not a skilled communicator and I'm highly emotional. But I love him with all my heart. I've threatened divorce before because he's so frustrating. But lately, maybe the last year or so, he's been increasingly depressed with feelings of hopelessness (we have a difficult debt situation). I've been depressed as well. Partly it's the climate here in Oregon to blame. I've been treated for low vitamin D levels but haven't consistently taken my supplements. I believe he suffers the same plus there are other factors for him - diabetes and family history. So long story short, we haven't the finances for him to move out so he can figure out what he needs/wants so we're in the same house and it's miserable. I can't stop crying. I have an appt with my DR to get my vitamin D checked again and to be screened for depression. I've urged him to do the same but he's resistant. I think we're trying to make decisions about our marriage with clouded minds. Am I crazy?
On the same day my husband also asked me for a divorce. Strangely enough he also needed to stay in the house. However, I think to make himself feel better he started to get mean. Even tho I didn't do anything wrong. He just woke up one day and didn't love me anymore. I asked him to find a place to stay. When he put up a fight I reminded him that he was the one who did this. It's hard to start grieving and moving on if he is there. It has only need a week but without him here I am slowly, if even just an inch getting better. I'm still miserable and sad but at least I can grieve in my own way and time now. I hope you find the answer you need and just now there's many of us out there going through this with you.
I am responding because I am going through something oddly similar.
First.. You are Not crazy. You are a woman who was/is in love with your spouse and have been for 17 years. Your husband seems to have "checked out" emotionally. That is the worse feeling of all for you. I am sorry.
On December 22nd, two days after our anniversary, my husband complains and yells about my minimal income, yells that I am less of a woman, and he sneaks calls to his female co-worker often.
He stopped being affectionate years ago. We have known each other fifteen years and married nearly ten. I told him he cannot do this to me and that I will be separating from him.
I too suffer from vitamin D deficiency and anemia and the stress of knowing I don't have the finances to leave places me in a hell.