He’s wired that way. Only if he were to commit to intensive therapy and then, the two of you would seek counseling could the relationship become healthy. It’s better to make the decision to leave or stay solo. I planned my clean exit, paid for the simple uncontested divorce and I never looked back because abusers rarely change and I was miserable.
Lola: I think living in a bad situation like you have can seem normal over time, but it isn't. Be glad there are no kids involved. It would be hell for them and for you. Better to get a Lawyer and leave.
My husband is also verbally and emotionally abusive. Our divorce will be final in a week. When I filed for divorce he finally agreed to go back to counseling to work on his issues. Begging me to stay with him. I am going forward with the divorce because it is the best thing for me.
You need to take care of yourself. Our counselor says that the best predictor of the future is the past. He is not going to just change with promises and good intentions.
I would recommend you divorce now before you have children together. Good luck!