I am responding because I am going through something oddly similar.
First.. You are Not crazy. You are a woman who was/is in love with your spouse and have been for 17 years. Your husband seems to have "checked out" emotionally. That is the worse feeling of all for you. I am sorry.
On December 22nd, two days after our anniversary, my husband complains and yells about my minimal income, yells that I am less of a woman, and he sneaks calls to his female co-worker often.
He stopped being affectionate years ago. We have known each other fifteen years and married nearly ten. I told him he cannot do this to me and that I will be separating from him.
I too suffer from vitamin D deficiency and anemia and the stress of knowing I don't have the finances to leave places me in a hell.