My husband and I met when we were 18, straight out of high school, my first semester in College. He was my first in every aspect. My in all, end all. The past eight years, just like any relationship, we’ve had our ups and downs. We married two years ago and I thought we were better than okay…but in love. In August on last year I started my first year of Graduate School. A decision we discussed together. I work full time, go to school full time, and also intern at our local VA hospital for my graduate hours. The last eight years my husband had been has been nothing but supportive. On February 4th this year I woke up to a text, yes a text, saying he was unhappy and wanted a divorce. He told me he didn’t want to work on our marriage and that we had different goals. Since when?! I prided on the fact that we had deep conversations about our lives, our dreams, our goals weekly. ALL his friends are still single. They still love to go out and party weekly. I have nothing against that but we have responsibilities. Bills, two car payments, a house payment….we didn’t have the same life and responsibilities, or lack of, as his friends. It’s been three weeks and he wont see me, won’t talk to me on the phone, just pure text. Even that is very limited. The man who messages me is a stranger. He has completely changed. He told me he didn’t want to live together anymore…he told me one of his friends is now living at “his home” as he calls it. The only thing he’s told me is that we had different goals and he wasn’t ready for mine….why get married then? Why propose?…
From one day to the next everything we’ve built together was shattered with ONE text…
He says he’s happy now and doesn’t miss me…
It’s just hard because all I’ve ever known is him….I feel like I have absolutely no closure…I feel so numb…as if I’m just going though the motion. I’m ranting now. Just needed to vent
Wow. That’s truly incredible. I can’t begin to fathom what is going on there. Have you considered speaking with a mental health professional? Maybe there is something else going on here for the change to be so abrupt?
I'm really sorry you're going through this. I have been blindsided before, I wasn't married to the guy but I was sure that he loved me so much and we had an amazing connection. It is really painful. But he pretty much cut off communication with me except for texts for a few weeks. Then I found out 10 months later he was getting married to someone else. So my first thought is that he is probably cheating on you and he was probably fake during your relationship.
The other thing is that some men prefer "logic" to feelings and so they make decisions base on what they think seems to make more sense to them, not how it's going to make you or anyone else feel. I know it doesn't seem logical to us but if they move on to another woman they have so-called "reasons" and the commitments they made to you and even the feelings they have for you don't matter as much.
I'm not sure what else to tell you to do, there is not much you can do to make him talk to you. He may be forced to talk to you at some point to work out details in your divorce but meeting through your lawyers can be very stoic. I suggest gathering morale support of your friends and family, and getting the best lawyer you can.