He isnt willing actually, and I think that I may want to move out. Things have gotten worse. There are no kids involved so it makes it easier. I just hate that this is coming to an end. I wanted some hope for the future but he says I have ruined that as well. I think it might be better to get out. I am not sure. I sometimes have hope that the time together will bring us closer. I dont even know.
It sounds like he’s sending a pretty consistent message Hannah. In your shoes, if I felt largely responsible, I would be the one to take the door, and I agree that lingering can certainly make the situation worse. You never know what the future holds, but it looks for now like you have a decision to make. Maybe start looking around - find a cute place to get excited about - think about the future. Embrace it.
I think the message is pretty clear too. I have done a whole heap of wrong, and he doesnt want anything to do with me. Not now, and not in the future. He as actually said in the past that he never wants to see me again. I think the message is clear as day.
Hi Hannah. This whole situation seems kind of cruel, since you did "terrible things to him". Have you discovered any reason as to why you did these things? Were you just young and reckless? Were you not really in love? Did you just like having a nice guy around to make you happy, but wanted to continue to live the "fun" life? Have you done anything to try to show him differently?
Maybe you've already done this, but think about telling him everything that has happened. If he is already talking about divorcing, what worse could come of it? Maybe your honesty could show him something. If it doesn't work, then fine. You may need to consider that you have caused him so much pain from these terrible things. Have you thought about HIS feelings? Maybe he needs some time to recover, maybe he needs some time to process what has happened to him.
Think about it.
Hi Isabella, these are all questions that I have thought about. Yes it was very cruel. It was a full on relationship, and I feel terrible about it. I have thought about why I did these things, and it sounds so cliche, but I had the man of my dreams, but I took him for granted. I saw the flaws that werent even that serious, and I used that as my fuel to do what I did. I didnt feel as desired as I liked. The issue is this, in my therapy sessions, I was trying to really dissect what is going on, why in the last 2 months since we have been going through this, could I not be honest. This has led him to believe that I do not want this marriage and I am trying to get out of it. Of course I can understand why he would think this. But unfortunately, I was trying to save my marriage, how I thought it was right. I had fear, I wanted to protect him from certain things. I actually THOUGHT i was saving my marriage, all the while I was not giving the man that I truly LOVE what he wanted and needed to work this out. I feel awful, I can only image how he feels. I dont expect anyone to understand my thought process with this. But this has literally been the worst mistake I have ever made in my life and I am losing an amazing person because of it. My self esteem has also taken a hit because I dont have high outlooks on life for me now. What if there is nothing else left for me in terms of love and being able to have a good relationship? What if I cant be a good wife? What if he is right and he doesnt think I can change and not lie, and what if he is right and this defines me as a person. I am sorry for spewing out so much...I kind of just went on a rant. thank you for replying to me.
I had an affair too. If fact I am still having it. Was your affair emotional or just sexual? Are you still with him? My husband had a zero tolerance policy on cheating. I was only doing it for more money and to get a career and he caught us. I have no plans of staying with my boyfriend however right now he makes me feel good and feel attractive. My husband did not give me enough attention, so I moved on. You can do the same.