A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her
husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light
for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night
than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have
sex?" "No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She
didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
"Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to
150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
