I am a 47 yo female, in process of divorce. We were married 24 years, during which I worked 2 jobs and put MYSELF through school. He worked, but did not try to advance, refused to go to school for anything better (despite having GI bill!) and now, because I make double what he makes, my attorney is saying I will have to pay HIM! He was NOT a stay at home parent, did NOTHING to help me through school, and basically sat on his can while I worked MINE off! He has a 401 K of 80K, and my "half" is only on paper, gets deducted from what I "OWE" him (approx 50k over next 5 years!) I am still paying my student loans, but again, I get "credit" for half off what I owe. My question is, WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY HIM?? My reward for putting up with his lazy butt is to have to pay him? I have a good salary (for past 6 months) but have moved to an area that has a very high cost of living, so I am not really any farther ahead. In addition, I left him with everything in the house except my personal belongings and my car (which I pay the payment on) AND have been paying the house payment since I left, because he couldn't afford it! We lived in Michigan when I filed (I am not in the state anymore) and Im ready to just cancel the whole thing and just live apart happily ever after. Anyone else in this situation? Our children are grown and out of the house
There are a lot of people in the same situation, but usually the sexes are reversed. The law does not care whether the wife or husband is the higher earner.
If you were in Texas, there is a statutory 3 year maximum for spousal support, but for a 24 year marriage in Michigan, you can expect to be paying alimony for quite some time, perhaps lifetime support.
What does your attorney say the guidelines in Michigan are?
I was in the same situation as you are in and glad that I no longer have to pay HIM spousal support. His name is lazyman. I supported him while we were married and worked my you know what off taking care of the kids, the home and working, he barely could hold a job and tv watching is his specialty. At the time of the divorce we were married 23 or 24 years.
I always said that if I had it to do over again I would have just left, disappeared, got a job somewhere else and started a new life, but the divorce process was already underway and I already had the court order to pay him. He fought the divorce for 3 years and tens of thousands of dollars later and dozens of court appearances and a divorce trial I got a divorce....YIPPEE. The best thing I ever did was to shed that leach.
You will probably have to pay him for sometime, mine figured out a way to refinance the house, without a job,(I think it was because the equity in the house was so high and the loan he took out was very low) and I gave him all of the equity in the house to avoid having to pay him for life. If I would not have given him this equity I would still be paying him.
Women paying support is not as rare as you may think, there have been a few women come and go on this site that have had to do it, but it is way more common for the oposite to occur.
Paying spousal support is very easy to understand, the person who has been paying for most things in a long term marriage will continue to pay for most things, this could be the husband or it could be the wife. I feel for you and know how hard it is to accept that you thought leaving him would end your supporting him, leaches always figure out a way to screw you up.
Just be thankful that you are also not paying child support when you have two of the kids and he has one. This is also going to end within the next year.....another YIPPEE.
Good luck