Deb, Request a Gardian Ad Litem...It is a lawyer assigned to represent the kids and their best interest. it is usually a child psychologist with a law background or visa versa. This person will talk to the kids (if they are old enough) and will talk to both sides. They will talk to witnesses (teachers, babysitters, friends, aunts, whatever) and make a decision. They will present their decision to the judge and it is then up to the judge to decide to take the advice of the lawyer representing the kids. Just to warn you, however, you and your ex will have to split the bill on the extra lawyer.
Also, my advice about a lawyer you don't feel comfortable with....ditch the lawyer and get a new one. Find one that you see eye to eye with, that feels like your bff, like you can tell him/her anything and they won't judge you or make you feel unsure. I wih I would have ditched my lawyer long ago. (I never did) luckily I was awarded sole custody of my boys.