i want a divorce from my husband of 4 years, but whenever i talk about separating, he just gets depressed and starts talking about how he won't make it without me. i feel terrible, i don't want his death on my hands,but it angers me that he should use such a trick to get me to stay. i have a 2yr old to think about, also. my husband and i fight alot, about nonsense issues, and there are things that i don't feel that i have to do just to make him happy.. (i.e. a n a l ) i just don't think that you shopuld force someone to do something they don't want to do unless it is absolutely necessary. what should i do?

No one has the right to force you to do anything you do not want to do. If you need out get out. But make sure you get out safely with your child. My ex played the same card. I spend hours trying to pry a gun from his hand, scarred that he might harm me or my children then take his own life. I said what I had to say to get him calmed down then when he was finally sleeping, left with my kids. If you want out but are afraid to tell him for fear he will flip, do it in a public place, I know it sounds harsh but your safety and your child's are more important than his feelings. Not to be mean but I dealt with this, and the terror my ex put me through that night has caused me many sleepless nights. One thing you must remember YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME FOR HIS REACTIONS!!! No matter who tried to guilt you. I had my MIL tell me that if her son took his own life it would be my fault. She is an ass( sorry but she is)

thanks so much for your input, i believe that you are right. i really need a support network right now and this place has helped me tremendously, just knowing that there are others like me, others who have been in similar situatuions and lives to tell the tale. i really appreciate having a community like this

Only you can make your decision to divorce. You have to looked deep within yourself to make sure this is what you feel is best for you. Do not worry about it threats of hurting himself that is not your problem. Think of yourself and your child. If you truly feel this is what needs to be done then get youself and lawyer and file for divorce. In reading what you say it would be no surprise to him. DO NOT LET HIM CONTROL YOU. That is what he is trying to do. Be strong and follow you heart. You will make the right decision for yourself and your child. I am here to take if you need. Be true to yourself!