My heart totally goes out for you. And honestly it really does get better. I came on this forum looking to help women who are going through a divorce. I have been through it and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. My situation was not like your as neither of us had somebody else involved but nevertheless divorce is not easy. Be true to youself and let him go. It is not easy but you deserve better then the way you are being treated. I can be here to talk to if you want. BE STRONG.