Drove myself to the hospital when I was almost dying ( literally, ended up in hospital for a month) He was out drinking. Seriously we should talk sometime bet we could compare loads of stories. You sure we weren't married to the same man?! LOL

same here, I could also write forever about all the WRONGS he has done. Things that cut me to my soul. But WHY relive them? why honor these events by retelling them? It is HARD and I simply have tried to come up with an explanation for these kinds of people (tried to excuse their actions away based on their upbringing, their weaknesses, their malfunctioning brain etc etc) but the truth is it doesn't matter. We don't need to understand them. We just need to let go. I make myself mad, knowing all of my blessings, and letting HIM, just one single insignificant other SHADOW all that is good in my life. I really wish I had some magic words to change that, it doesn't make logical sense so it frustrates me. I kind of think some of us are here to take and some us are are here to give (ideally, it would be a balance). But we should focus on what we can give others. These "men"...ugh, they shouldn't have the power to suck joy from our lives. We give them that. Just writing it reminds me of that. I hope it reminds you too. Any power they have over us, any happiness they take from us, they do so only because we allow them to. STAY STRONG. I do believe in the adage "time heals all wounds". We learn to move on. We stop trusting their hurtful words and actions and start trusting ourselves.

I think sometime we spend so much time "defending" our actions ( i.e divorce) to others it consumes us. I don't know about anyone else but there are time I just want to rent a billboard in the middle of my hometown listing all the wrong he has done me so that they will all see that I am justified in leaving him.
I have been through a lot in my life. Family deaths, tragic loss of my dear friend, 13 years ago I was hit will illness, Crohn's Disease. It has been a roller coaster ride for me with my health. I thought that all of these things were the worst things I could ever face. I really didn't expect my marriage/loss of marriage to be the worst thing I would ever go through...but I am strong and I have learned slowly through the years to love myself again and to trust in myself. I have my life, I have my children and I have my faith. I do not need my ex to be happy.
Although in anger I wish him the worst. I know that harboring such anger against him will only destroy me in the long run. I have forgiven him on certain levels....I'm not quite ready to forgive him completely. I will not allow the bitter taste his name leaves in my mouth to destroy the"me" I have found again.

Lisa, you sound like you have been through alot, but are getting yourself together well. I hope to fare so well in the coming months. I agree that divorce is one of the worse things you can go through. But it is not the worse, the worse is the loss of your child. I survived that, I think I can get through this.

It amazes me what women can come through...sometimes we do bring up the negatives in our discussions of our exes, but not to dwell on these issues, but to show ourselves what we have faced and what we have come through. Like I said before: I (As well as others) have been through hell and back and because of this we know we have the strength to make it through. Kat, I am so sorry for your loss. You are a strong woman to face that...I can't even begin to imagine, but your strength and lettting us know you have over come that gives others hope.

Compared to loosing a child my troubles are nothing. My heart goes out to you for your loss. I haven't lost a child myself and I thank God for that every day. I watched my Aunt bury her child and that was hard enough for me.
I agree with you Susan. I think I "relive" my sadness to show me that I can make it. It's been a years and a half since I filed divorce. I am praying that the next 6 months FLY by so that I can finalize my divorce and truly move on.

I look back now and take inventory of what I have gone through, compare it to where I am now and it is so freeing. I can talk about the good and the bad of the past and it doesn't weigh on me like a burden. It is what it is and I can take solutions from the past and apply them to my present and future. Life is like one big classroom...there is so much to learn and know if you want to reach out and live it.

Susan