Hi
I am on waiting for someone to help me so I thought maybe I can help out from someone else's eyes. Sorry about your situation I think the things your husband have done are very difficult to forgive and in your heart you will know what the BEST decision is for you and your children. If you feel they were in an unsafe situation with him drinking then you will have an easy answer. I also feel sometimes people can do so much damage it is hard to recover but since I believe in marriage counceling is always an option if you feel its worth it. If not going to an attorney is very stressful, emotional and painful even if its your choice. Write down all your feelings before you go and be clear on the answers you wish to have. Maybe he can fill out all the paperwork and hold it until you are ready to call and say move forward. At that point you can sit down and explain to your kids daddy and mommy will have two different homes in the near future and they will be able to enjoy two Christmas's Birthdays etc. If you decide to move forward coming from you I think they will be less shocked or hurt. I just saw an attorney and threw up when I left. (I don't want divorce though) I just want to let you know they are aggressive persuasive and confusing so please try and write all your thoughts down tnght and when you go whatever the attorney says wont scare you as much. You will know if you are ready in your heart. Best of luck to you and I think if you follow your heart all will make sense when you are there. Hope this is a little help?

It's nice to see your point of view since you are kind of in my husband's shoes of not wanting the divorce. I can tell you that once a person has made up their mind that they want a divorce, it is very difficult to change it. But hang in there and maybe the two of you can go to counseling. My husband and I are both in counseling but not together. I told him I'm in counseling to deal with the crap he's put me through. Thankfully he was never phyiscally abusive. But not he's started threatening that he's going to fight for custody of our kids and so on. I feel it just shows his true colors and what kind of person he really is. He's just worried about himself and how he can hurt me. Our kids are not his first concern. Wish me luck!

Thank you. Good luck today I will be thinking of you and hoping you are strong. The decision is already in your heart.
If he is totally against counceling because he says only people with problems go should I suggest it?
Hope all goes well with the attorney today. Good thoughts your way and prayers.

I stayed in a situation much like yours for over thirty years; now that I have survived the rigors of a divorce, I realize how much I gave up by living in my fear of divorce. I think my eyes were really opened when my grown son, a few months after my divorce stated, "Mom, I haven't seen you this happy since I was ten." Time does heal your hurt, but it still flairs up at times!!!! Think of yourself and ask, "When have I truly felt happy?"

Thanks for responding. I'm glad to hear your son sees how much happier you are and hope my kids will see the same.

I'm a year and a half into my divorce. I filed because like you my husband drank and cheated. I have threatened to leave him for years if he didn't straighten up his act and he never seen the need to. When I told him I was leaving for good he flipped! He had NO idea that I was serious all the times before. He is a child.
We have two young boys. And again like you I have never seen fit to tell them about their fathers behavior. Who want to tell their kids something like that?!
Well my STRONG advise to you it to tell your kids. Not about the affairs but about the hurt that he put on you. I didn't and my ex took my kids from me ( I took them to see him and he refused to give them back, filed custody and all) and he saw it fit to tell them what a horrible person I was for breaking up our family. He told them that he still loved me and that "Mommy has problems" See what I mean about him being a child!
It took me a long time to undo the damage he did when he lied to my kids. They are 6 and 9 why on earth would you tell them the things he told them! My oldest was very hurt and confused by everything but he also knows that I have never lied to him and that his father has. I am now in a position that I have to tell my son about certain things, because his father told him just what he wanted him to know...how poor daddy is a victim
My ex's childish move has cost my children a lot of pain. I have gotten past his hurt to me, but I will NEVER forgive him for hurting my children
I wish you the best of luck. If your ex is as much as a jerk as mine, your children will see through him. Even at a young age. Just remember to always tell your children the truth, not all details have to be mentioned but tell them the truth fit for their age. If you don't be prepared to do damage control from the things he tells them.