I am soooo confused. I want to stay faithful to my vows but in my hear of hearts I feel like I will never be happy with this man. I see our lives continuing to be full of animosity and bad decisions. The getting drunk everyday and coming in smell like a two bottles of liquor is getting very old. i have asked him over and over again to stop but all he has to say is that he is a grown man and he can do as he please. Im tired of not being able to sleep in my own bed as he lays in my bed as comfortable as he can be,and then a=has the nerve to tell me he did not sleep well. I am just TOTALLY SICK of him, I cant continue to put up with his immature ways. Besides that he wants to get violent when hes drunk on top of his slurring off the wall speaking. We have an eleven years old daughter and three years old son, I dont want them to grow up thinking this is what life is about. Im so afraid that we will never truly live our lives to the fullest with him. His only concerns are his entertainment (which is getting drunk at his uncles house) and working on his ragedy car. ( which has not been driven in 4 years). He also has a dog that just cost us 500 dollars due to him missing a court date with a neighbor who complains about the barking. Now what makes me mad about this is that at the time our finances are literally none, our bills our piling high and he has no idea how to get them paid. But when he was threaten with jail SOMEHOW he was able to BORROW 500 dollars from his family. I told him I did not want a dog in the first place but everything I say is only to make his life miserable so he thinks. My plans are to let all the utilities get shut down and I will move with my family until I can get it together. Dont get me wrong I pay my bills but for the past two months I have not been able to pay them alone and im so fed up with him that I wont even try to use the money that I will have to pay them. I think its time for a reality check with this GROWN man. He is so used to me or his family bailing him out of everything that he does including jail. Im just absolutely SICK OF IT.
15 years of BAGGAGE.

Good plan, after 15 years of this I would leave also. One day would now be enough of it for me.

Trust me one day would be enough for anybody. Why Im still here I dont know... But what I do know is that IM FED UP... Thanks for the encouragement.

He is choosing to be drunk and irresponsible, Hope you CHOOSE to get you and your children away from him. They are learning a behavior, that they might copy as adults.....get yourselves all into counseling now, would be my suggestion.

Courage.......Hugs, Alicia

Thank you sooo much. I will start choosing right now to leave and live. I definitely cant stay here.

It normally takes an abused women on average 7 attempts to leave before she is successful. Make up your mind and stick to it be the one it only takes once. Wat you are going through is abuse, just a difffent kind than physical

I feel your pain. My husband starting drinking about 5 years ago but it really got out of hand the past year. I also tried everything to get him to quit. Being nice, trying to be accepting, ********* refusing sex. Nothing worked. He told me the same thing...he's an adult and if he wants to drink he will. He also cheated on me last year. I have told him I want a divorce and he moved out 2 months ago. When I told him I wanted a divorce and how hurtful his drinking is, he stopped drinking and started going to AA. He says he wishes I would have given him an ultimatum sooner or flat out told him that if he didn't quit drinking I was going to divorce him. Unfortunately, I was afraid to put my foot down but not I feel its too late. I don't want to be with him anymore, even though he quit drinking. I can't get past all the time he ruined with his drinking. Saying sorry doesn't fix it. I would recommend you put your foot down hard. Either the light will go off or it won't and you'll have your answer. You don't want to live miserably or teach your kids that's how life is supposed to be. You only get to live once. You and your deserve to be happy.

Thank u Patty,
The thing that im so afraid of is that this will never change if i dont do something. I try to show him that this drinking daily clouds his thinking and contributes to the bad decisions. The scariest part is that his dad has done the same all of his life, and still does. I feel so sorry for his mom who works so hard. But not only that most of the men in his family are abusive in some sort of way to their families and for some reason they feel like these women are just unappreciative and naggers. Im like you at this point I dont want to be with him anymore not the way i should anyway. Im here due to the kida and the fact that I have been here for 15 years already(I guess you can call it comfort) of course I do care about him and wouldnt want to see him hurt , but at the same time I know what I want out of life and like you said I only get one chance.